Recovery Isn't Linear (and Neither is This Fan-Fiction)

I’m using characters from the MCU to work through my own mental health shit. I relate to the characters of Bucky and Tony Stark a lot.

Part of my experience is of having been treated and made to feel like a tool, lacking human agency or emotions, or encouraged and expected to be productive over everything else. Part of my recovery now is to find those human parts of me that I was encouraged to hide or suppress and embrace them. Sometimes I use a proxy for myself to explore my feelings in a safe way.

Also, I’m non-binary so I write Bucky as a non-binary person even though he uses he/him pronouns.

The timeline I’m using for Steve/Bucky is almost entirely made-up, but it’s roughly based on the MCU except that I disliked Civil War, so that’s when things go completely non-cannon in just about every way.

TW: Anorexia recovery, abuse recovery, PTSD, etc.

You can read it here.